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DaddyDom...

#1 User is offline   Milkchocolate Icon

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Posted 08 February 2008 - 05:55 PM

So, the word DaddyDom was mentioned to me once in chatroom and I have to admit, my eyes grew wide and I got this look of ew before I dexided to go and look it up, see what it was a bout. I read many amazing articles that clued me in on just what a DaddyDom was and I was impressed. It made me think about exactly what I wanted from a Dom myself... I came up with this list:

Regal- meaning His very demeanor would command my respect and submission
Seductive- this plays into regal but adds in the fact that He would draw me like a moth to the flame.

Firm- I'm very impetuous and bratty (as it has been pointed out to me, lol) as well as a big procrastinator. I would like someone with a firm hand to guide me and keep me on track. Not to change my personality, but to help me hone myself into a better functioning person. Does that sound weird?


Gentle- *smiles* I realize that this is quite a jump from the last trait, but I believe that one can be firm but gentle, and thats a trait that I would prefer He who earns my love has.


Strict- I suppose this could play into firm, but somehow I just feel that its a different quality all together. I can't really explain it. However, I can say that I am stubborn and that I need someone who can handle that. I need someone who is set in His ways, just as stubborn as me, and will not budge for me when it is not best for me. This in no way means I'm into pain, cause I'm not at all, lol. It just means I recognize the fact that I will more than likely need discipline and I want someone who would be able to give it.


Protective- I want to feel safe with Him. Safer than anywhere else in the world.

Instructive- I love to learn so it would only be fitting that the One who becomes my Dom continue instructing me in life. Does this sound weird too?


Loving- This is the most important trait of them all. One that I will not budge on for anyone, Daddy Dom or no. I've had a lot of problems in my life, some that I'm not willing to share at the moment. I don't have very high self esteem, though I fake it quite well, lol. And I don't see myself as the prettiest person on the planet. Infact, at best, I see myself as "cute." I crave for someone to love me in spite of all. To care for me and be there for me even though I'm not a beauty queen or the most socially inclined. I need Him to love me for me, before any of his guidance and after.

This seems to match up perfectly with the idea of a Daddy Dom, and so I think I might be a "babygirl". I'm not sure, I'm still exploring, but I do know what I want and that list is it. I just wanted to know what Eeveryone else thought and if anyone else here is involved in a Daddy Dom relationship...


"Perhaps I fear him because I could love him again, and in loving him, I would come to need him, and in needing him, I would again be his faithful pupil in all things, only to discover that his patience for me is no substitute for the passion which long ago blazed in his eyes." -Armand
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#2 User is offline   MasterDale Icon

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Posted 08 February 2008 - 10:25 PM

I have to applaud you for how much thought and care you are putting into setting your goals, Milkchocolate.

We have a few conversations about the Daddy/babygirl dynamic on this Board. I know a few couples involved in that dynamic and it is very good for them. Of course it won't work for everyone. What does? But when you are new, the only way to really find out if something is as good as it sounds on paper is to try. Picking the very best partner to try with gives it the best chance for success. I like your list. I think if you can find a Dom with those qualities you have found a prize, no matter what the form your relationship dynamic ultimately takes.

M. Dale
Be careful of what you wish for....Posted Image ....you just might get it.
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#3 User is offline   -cheyenne- Icon

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Posted 09 February 2008 - 08:44 AM

Milkchocolate I am very much the babygirl in my family. Master is Master to me but He is also Daddy. I refer to Him as either depending upon what comes out of my mouth. He calls me babygirl and on occasion girl. Regardless of the titles He is Master/Daddy, even if I were in a situation where I had to use His first name. It is more about the dynamic and knowing who we are inside, the rest is not as important for me.

What I would say though is to let whatever you find flow and become what it is meant to be (provided as it is happening it feels right). Don't lock it into a formula inside of your head because then you could walk away from the very thing you need without realizing it. I truly believe the qualifications you laid out could be met by someone who identifies as a Master or Dominant and never considered being a Daddy Dom. That does not mean he would not slip into it comfortably should the opportunity arise. Master was not looking to be a Daddy, and I was not looking for one.
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#4 User is offline   tiamet Icon

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 11:30 AM

I don't hear you mentioning anything about being a little, wanting a father figure, or seeking an ageplay dynamic in your list. What you may be seeking is a mentor, or a dominant that follows a certain ethical path that I guess we don't really have a name for.

There are two types of "Daddies".

One type of Daddy is a loving, nurturing Dominant who prefers to partner and play with littles. Littles are adults who enjoy ageplay, and seek relationships where ageplay is the primary theme. Littles generally dress and act in a child-like manner, and enjoy BDSM through the lens of an adult/child dynamic.

Then there are leather familes. Some of us believe in establishing relationships with mentors, and those often become life-long relationships. Once we establish a certain level of maturity we turn around and start mentoring others who are just entering the lifestyle. And so we end up with a Momma or Daddy (and maybe a Grandma or Grandpa if we are lucky), and leather children of our own. There are often sibling relationships that are established when two people become life-long friends as they serve/grow under the same mentor or Master. That leather family becomes as important a part of our life as our biological familes, and we take care of each other throughout our lives.

Now, sometimes we end up with a Master that also fills the role of mentor, and so that Master ends up getting called Daddy even though there isn't an ageplay dynamic.

LOL, I never realize how confusing all this stuff is till I set out to explain it.
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#5 User is offline   melissa Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 06:59 PM

I'm in a Daddy/Daddy's girl relationship and it is very healthy and happy and hot!

I feel very safe and loved.

Cheers

melissa
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#6 User is offline   MistressLydia Icon

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Posted 22 September 2008 - 03:15 PM

Milkchocolate,

Isn't it exciting to discover another perspective that fits oh so well...Like putting on a tailor outfit...Or the feel of a tight Latex catsuit (crossesfingers). Sigh...have yet to get one of those on.

Anyway, I hope you find the right Daddy to help you explore. Love being the most important rule will help you not jump for the first Daddy who seems to fit the bill.

Cheers!
MLydia
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