Master Dale's Lifestyle Community Bulletin Board: Genderqueer. . . - Master Dale's Lifestyle Community Bulletin Board

Jump to content

Page 1 of 1
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

Genderqueer. . .

#1 User is offline   proud2deviate Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 65
  • Joined: 06-September 04

Posted 22 August 2010 - 11:21 PM

So, yeah. I guess I am. I've a definitely female side to me. I hadn't really recognized it as such. I just chalked it up to being raised in a single-mother home, with a sister five years my senior. I found the article on genderqueer, and I found myself nodding along to so much of it. I've never thought of myself as trans-gendered, but I have thought that if given the choice, I'd rather be a woman. Not that I feel uncomfortable being a guy, but womanhood would be just a little bit better, y'know? So, I'm going to explore this, and see if I can find myself. (I look insufferably cute with pigtails. Adorable, really.)The correct term here is gender fuck, as in fucking with gender. I have within me a desire to be just a little bit girly. And I intend to indulge it, for now.

I really am an exercise in duality; bisexual genderqueer sado-masochistic switch. . . I learn something new about myself each day!
The beatings will continue until morale improves. . .

-KMFDM, Free Your Hate
0

#2 User is offline   MasterDale Icon

  • Administrator
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Admin
  • Posts: 2,407
  • Joined: 13-August 03

Posted 28 August 2010 - 06:04 PM

I think it is great that you sound so comfortable with this, Proud. You know I have talked with a lot of people about all sorts of angst over their inner desires. It can be so hard for people to accept themselves. They live in denial or punish themselves with guilt when they give in to their very primal needs. So good on you for having the courage to own it and be who you are. I have a lot of respect for that.

M. Dale
Be careful of what you wish for....Posted Image ....you just might get it.
0

#3 User is offline   proud2deviate Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 65
  • Joined: 06-September 04

Posted 29 August 2010 - 11:15 AM

A long time ago I figured out what other people saw pretty quickly; I am pretty fucking weird :P Turns out, most folks aren't okay with weird, and I was the object of a lot of ridicule. So, I tried to fake normalcy for a while. That didn't work out so hot, and I found myself weird, fake, and miserable. Slowly, I began to realize that it wasn't worth it. If I'm going to be ridiculed either way, I might as well be genuine. So I let myself be weird, gave myself permission. After that, the teasing just slid off me like water. And, every once in a while, I'd find another weird person, or a "normal" with enough courage to be comfortable with weird.

I have a lot of contempt for people (and a lot of compassion, too. Duality, again.) For the death of me, I can't understand a guy going crazy with dry, chapped lips because he's afraid that the Blistex in his pocket will gloss up his lips and make him look queer. And the kicker is, he's alone in his bedroom! Goddamn, people can be so timid and plastic. . . What's the fucking point?

EDIT - I do so love these little moments of epiphany, when you've known something about yourself for so long and you've only just found the right words or frame of mind to describe it. For me, it's accompanied by an imagined sound, like that of a marble dropping onto a cake plate. Something literally falling into place. . .
The beatings will continue until morale improves. . .

-KMFDM, Free Your Hate
0

Page 1 of 1
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users